IT CAME FROM BEYOND.


[Pictured: Margaret Antwerp holds the fragment of alien satellite that landed in her rose garden.]
It was a normal day for Margaret.
Normal, that is, until a thundering crash in her front yard nearly knocked her house over.
"This damn thing fell right out of space, I tell you," she told investigative journalists from our Paranormal Investigations department.
"It was glowing red hot, and it had burnt my prize-winning roses to a crisp."
The US government and air force have declined to comment, as usual.