EVACUATION ALERT.
The Federal government has announced a formal evacuation of all major centers, to pre-designated FEMA emergency shelters.
Spokesperson Linda Garrison stated, "This is not expected to be a permanent issue.
By evacuating to the shelters and camps FEMA set up for just such a situation, we can clamp down on riots without hurting uninvolved people."
Garrison declined to comment on widespread allegations that the rioters are under the influence of psychosis-inducing biological agents.