EVACUATION ALERT.

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The Federal government has announced a formal evacuation of all major centers, to pre-designated FEMA emergency shelters.

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Spokesperson Linda Garrison stated, "This is not expected to be a permanent issue.

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By evacuating to the shelters and camps FEMA set up for just such a situation, we can clamp down on riots without hurting uninvolved people."

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Garrison declined to comment on widespread allegations that the rioters are under the influence of psychosis-inducing biological agents.