| This is an advertisement for Aunt Janice's Pickled Meat. "When times get tough, the tough get pickling. Aunt Janice's Pickled Meat: more than 30% real beef!" |
| This is an advertisement for a personal injury lawyer. "Had an accident while working? Botched surgery gone wrong? Relatives missing after the government investigated them? There's only one solution to all of this; SUE!" |
| This is a somewhat weather-worn advertisement for the 'new' FEMA evacuation shelters. Beneath the colorful photo it reads, "Familiarize yourself with your nearest emergency shelter. It could save your life." |
| This is an advertisement for a FEMA evacuation shelter. Beneath a picture of a shelter it reads, "Contact your local FEMA office to arrange a tour of your nearest evacuation shelter. Be prepared!" |
| This is an advertisement for a pre-manufactured emergency supply kit. It is made of a very flashy tactical fabric and looks very impractical based on your experience. "Be ready for anything with the Tactica Supreme GO-30 kit." |
| This is an ad for a complicated survival knife with an enormous serrated back edge and far too many tools included in the handle. "Come down to the Knife Shack at Cumberton Mall! We've got it all." |
| This is an advertisement for a local church. The picture looks surprisingly mundane, but the text is not: "Revelations services offered round the clock. The end times are here, make your peace." |
| This is an advertisement for a local church. It looks like it was put together at the last minute. "Visit St. Mary's on the River while it's not too late. Repent while you still can!" |
| This is a hand-drawn flier that has been photocopied for wide distribution. It reads, in what looks like Sharpie-bolded letters, "THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW. This is all THEIR fault. They are watching everything. They brought this on us." There used to be tear-away phone numbers at the bottom, but they're all gone now. |
| This is a government-issued, air-dropped alert. "STAY IN YOUR HOMES. Universal curfew in effect. Police and military forces are authorized to use lethal force against looters and rioters." |
| This is a government-issued, air-dropped alert. "STAY IN YOUR HOMES. Police and military forces have been dispatched to your area and will help escort you to safety. DO NOT APPROACH ROADBLOCKS WITHOUT AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL." |
| This is a government-issued, air-dropped alert. "EVACUATION ALERT. Please make your way to the nearest FEMA evacuation shelter. Avoid crowds. Looters and rioters may turn violent against unarmed civilians. Seek protection from police and military forces if traveling in groups." |
| This is a government-issued, air-dropped alert. "EVACUATION ALERT. Please make your way to the nearest FEMA evacuation shelter. Travel in groups and avoid crowds. This is believed to be a biological agent that causes violent behavior: do not attempt to engage looters or rioters." |
| This is a glossy, high-quality flier. "What they don't want you to know! Reading this may save your life." Inside is a series of warnings recommending people avoid the evacuation shelters, and worse, the FEMA evacuation camps, along with some high-quality telephoto shots showing bodies being shoveled into huge pits by excavation machines. |
| This is a grocery store coupon flier. The front page looks like normal meat advertising, but inside the pictures become increasingly more gruesome images of severed human body parts and organs. It is dated two days after the evacuation orders were sounded. |
| This is a grocery store coupon flier, dated three days before the evacuation orders went out. "At Marigold Market, we still have canned food and bottled water! Come on in and stock up!" The front image shows a grocery store, the entrance flanked by a pair of smiling guards armed with assault rifles. |
| This is an advertisement for a local electronics store, dated a few weeks before the evacuation order. "Sale on Universal Power Supplies and refurbished laptops at DigiMart, three days only!" |
| This is an advertisement for Rivtech brand handguns. It shows a picture of a well-armed couple in business suits with matching handguns facing down a legion of villainous-looking characters. The caption reads: "Protect yourself with the Rivtech caseless automagnum!" |
| This is an advertisement for Rivtech brand rifles. It shows a picture of a smiling soldier with a futuristic-looking rifle on her shoulder saluting the viewer. The caption reads: "Rivtech caseless firearms proudly supports our Military." |
| This is an advertisement for Rivtech brand firearms. It shows a picture of a trio of well-armed hunters. The three are each armed with different futuristic-looking weapons and are shooting at a hostile crowd of approaching wildlife. The caption reads: "Rivtech caseless firearms. Superior stopping power." |
| This is an advertisement for a local funk-polka band, the "Chilly Winters". Apparently they were playing in the Wonky Donkey Pub. |
| This is a flier with the tour appearance dates of a small, niche-successful drum-and-bass/yodeling fusion band, the "Ol' Yellers". The dates continue well past the end of the world; most likely, the tour was cut short. |
| This is an advertisement for a death metal band, "Roxanne and the Soul-Crushing Ennui", known for mixing their ear-blasting riffs with chipper interludes of classic fifties doo-wop. The art depicts a zombified version of a Betty Crocker-esque housewife, slamming on a spike-encrusted electric guitar. |
| This is an advertisement for a local gun shop. In huge red letters, it reads: "This is it. Arm yourselves and protect your freedom. Come on down while supplies last." |
| This is an advertisement for Rivtech brand ammunition. It shows a picture of an armored steel plate with a gaping hole blasted through the middle. Sitting beside the plate is a block of brightly colored caseless ammunition. The caption reads: "Rivtech 8x40mm caseless. Nothing else comes close." |
| This is an advertisement for SUDS Laundromat. It shows words surrounded by bubbles that appear to be floating upward. It reads: "Tergitol Tuesdays! 50% off on all washers and dryers!" |
| This is a propaganda poster showing the Northrop Dispatch's military variant. It depicts the iconic dark green, arachnoid Dispatch, standing before a fence and facing away from the camera as blurring machines rush forward from its back towards black silhouettes menacing on the horizon. It reads: "WE ARE HERE TO PROTECT YOU." |
| This is an advertisement for Iron Gym. It shows pictures of people performing various exercises such as running, yoga, and weight lifting. It reads: "I lift things up and put them down!" |
| This is an advertisement for Space Time Inc. It has pictures of astronauts floating around a spaceship with the Moon in the background. It reads: "Own your own piece of the Moon! For only $29.99 a month, you can have prime real estate among the stars!" |
| This is a public notice from the Centers for Disease Control. Its message, repeated in several languages, reads: "BOIL WATER ADVISORY. An unidentified agent has contaminated local groundwater. It is highly infectious and can cause erratic and violent behavior. Boil all water, and isolate any loved ones showing concerning symptoms. Visit www.cdc.gov/cdda-advisory for more information." |
| This is a public alert from the Centers for Disease Control. Its message, repeated in several languages, reads: PUBLIC HEALTH ALERT: Due to recent events, the CDC is issuing a warning to avoid public areas and spaces. An unknown biological contaminant is suspected to be affecting citizens. The CDC would like to remind the public to cover your nose and mouth when sneezing, wash your hands frequently, and receive an up-to-date flu shot if possible. Boiling water is recommended until further notice. |
| This is a public alert from the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Its message, repeated in several languages, reads: STAY IN YOUR HOMES! All residents of the New England Disaster Area are advised to shelter in place wherever possible. The United States Armed Forces are working to contain the area. If there is a nearby evacuation shelter you can get to safely, you are recommended to do so. Otherwise, stay in your homes until authorized personnel evacuate you to a secured facility. Thank you for your compliance. |
| This is a public alert from the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Its message, repeated in several languages, consists of a list of towns serving as major evacuation points from the New England Disaster Area. Someone has scribbled off most of the town names, and scrawled "OVERRUN" next to each one, with the exception of the Tacoma evacuation point. |
| This is a public warning from an unnamed source. Its rambling message, poorly-photocopied onto both sides of the page, reads: Don't believe the lies! The Army is rounding up people in death camps and executing them at mass graves. They cannot stop this. Do not believe what the mainstream news media is reporting. All official evacuation points are deathtraps. Secure supplies and escape the cities while there is still time. |
| This is a public message from an unnamed source. Its message, photocopied from a scrawled handwritten copy, reads: REPENT YOUR SINS O BABYLON FOR THE TIME OF HIS JUDGEMENT IS NIGH! LOOK UPON YOUR DESTRUCTION AND KNOW THAT IT IS JUST! YOU WILL BE DIVIDED FATHER AGAINST SON AND MOTHER AGAINST CHILD UNTO THE VERY LAST SINNER! |
| This is a public warning from the Federal Government. Its brief message, repeated in several languages, reads: The President of the United States has declared unilateral martial law to be in effect for the 48 contiguous states in response to the ongoing national crisis. Continue to shelter in place until evacuated to an appropriate emergency management camp by authorized military personnel. A 24-hour curfew has been established. This curfew will remain in effect until further notice. Stay indoors. Violators will be shot on sight. |
| This is an advertisement for Rivtech's 'ATOMIC POWER THIRST' energy drink. While intended to advertise a new flavor called Isotope RU-238 'FRUIT', most of the text is dedicated to a long list of possible side effects: anxiety, insomnia, severe insomnia, dizziness, tremors, nausea, headache, vomiting, delusions, hallucinations, rhabdomyolysis, internal burns, thyroid cancer, extensive internal bleeding, upper gastrointestinal bleeding, diarrhea, cardiac dysrhythmia, cardiovascular collapse, suicidal ideation, seizures, ataxia, amnesia, mania, stroke, neurodegeneration, malignalitaloptereosis, necrotizing fasciitis, recurrent flu, and pinkeye. |
| This is a soda advertisement. On the front is a picture of a happy couple on a beach watching the sunset. Between them are bottles of soda. The poster reads, "Cascade Cola, for those special moments" in bold white letters. |
| This is a flier for a fast food chain. In it, a man is placing an order with an attractive woman wearing a bright green shirt in the window, with two happy children sitting in the back seat. The flier reads "Burgers, fries, and a Smile." Down in one corner is a company logo. |
| This is an advertisement for soda. It shows a dark brown can of soda on a black background. The label reads "Spin". |
| This is a flier for a local pizza chain. On it is a picture of a cartoon Italian holding a pizza, with the words "It's a goooood pizza" written above his head. |
| This is a poster advertising contact lenses. On it is a picture of a bloodshot eye with a rather long block of information beneath it making some fairly exaggerated claims about the product. |
| This is a flier advertising a local radio station. It has a lot of bright colors and patterns, but no definite message other than "104.4 all the best, all the time!" in big yellow letters. |
| This is a large movie poster for "Action Packstone 6, Revenge of the Dog Men". It shows a fit man in a leather jacket with a revolver and a claymore walking towards the viewer. At his side is his trusty cyberdog companion and in the background is an explosion. |
| This is an illustrated poster for a brand of solar car. The vehicle is driving through a lush countryside as small animals look on. The slogan "Improving the world, one tank at a time." is written across the top in small letters. |
| This is a soda advertisement. On the front is a picture of a happy couple on a beach watching the sun set. Between them are bottles of soda. The poster reads, "Cascade Cola, for those special moments" in bold white letters. Someone has colored in the sun with a black marker. The words "oh Discordia" are scrawled across the top. |
| This is a flier for a fast food chain. In it, a man is placing an order with an attractive woman wearing a bright green shirt in the window, with two happy children in the back seat. The flier reads "Burgers, fries, and a Smile." down in one corner is a company logo. Someone has gone to town on this one with a permanent marker. It is now covered in rude images and racial epithets. |
| This is a flier for a local pizza chain. On it is a picture of a cartoon Italian holding a pizza, with the words "It's a goooood pizza" written above his head. Someone has drawn an exaggerated mustache on the cartoon Italian, along with a pair of crude, oversized breasts. |
| This is a poster advertising contact lenses. On it is a picture of a bloodshot eye. Someone has defaced this one. The informational part has been torn off, and written in jagged letters across the top in red crayon are the words "ALL HAIL THE CRIMSON KING!" |
| This is an illustrated poster for a brand of solar car. The vehicle is driving through a lush countryside as small animals look on. The slogan "Improving the world, one tank at a time." is written across the top. Someone used a blue pen to write "who gives a shit" across the slogan and put X's over the eyes of all the animals. |
| This is high quality flier, mass produced with photocopying. "IF YOU ARE STUCK IN THE CITY, DO NOT LEAVE UNTIL NIGHTFALL, *THEY* WILL SEE YOU!" The flier further discusses how to barricade your apartment and duct tape sheets to your windows. |
| This is a flier for Red Ryder BB Guns. On it a child is pulling a shining red wagon containing a cooked pheasant, a wooden rifle held over one shoulder. The child has a dog trailing beside him and a satisfied look on his face. The caption reads "When you chose Red Ryder, you invested in the American Dream. You invested in our Independence." |
| This is a flier for some kind of reality TV show that takes place in New Jersey. The flier claims that the finale will "blow your mind", and was to air the day the evacuation order was given. |
| "Joe's Diner; 1/2 pound of meat, 3 toppings, 'your choice', all with a side of freedom fries and a BIG Gulp size pop." |
| This is an advertisement for the popular fast food chain, Foodplace. On an unadorned blue-and-magenta background it shows clear, unmistakable depictions of their products and plainly stated prices. The Foodburger looks particularly nice. |
| This is a public alert from the Center of Disease Control. Its message, repeated in several languages reads: "ADVISORY. Do not attempt to bring infected loved ones or friends to any hospitals, they are being currently overwhelmed due to the volume of incoming patients. Restrain those believed to be infected, and wait for further information at www.cdc.gov." |
| This advertisement reads "NEVER BE LEFT IN THE DARK! Powered by the inexhaustible might of betavoltaics, our new atomic lamp will glow as long as you need. Let there be light!" |
| This advertisement reads "The Future… powered by COFFEE! CuppaTech brings you the greatest revolution since espresso with our new Curie-G. Why wait for milk to boil? Have your coffee ready instantly with THE POWER OF THE ATOM!" |
| This advertisement reads "Sick of FUEL PRICES? Bus stop too far? Get your driving fix from THE SUN! Solar powered electric cars by Edison: Silent, Cheap, Powerful." |
| This advertisement reads "Coffee of The Future… RIGHT NOW! No one really has the time to make great coffee, but now you don't have to! CuppaTech gives you inexhaustible ATOMIC power! To make boiling hot coffee the MINUTE you want it! The Curie-G Atomic One-Cup Coffeemaker." |
| PICKLED MEAT IN A JAR! Just like your grandma used to make! It will last for months or longer, and when you've eaten it, you can refill and seal the jar! Stock your emergency supply TODAY! |
| BAGS, BAGS, BAGS! They're very useful things! If we didn't have BAGS, what-would-we-use… to PUT a lot of things in!? (Ad by the "Play SchoolClothing Co.") |
| GLAMOPOLITAN! We've got ALL the latest tips! Whether you want to know what the elite are eating, wearing, or discussing, Glamopolitan is YOUR magazine! So, pick up a copy today and "Sizzle Like A Star"! |
| POPULAR MECHANICS: People say mechanics is boring? We say prove them wrong! We've got all the articles that make it interesting to talk about, so you can "Make Mechanics Popular"! |
| BIRDHOUSE MONTHLY…. Which wood would a woodpecker prefer? This month we discuss hardwood versus soft woods, whether to lacquer, oil, or paint, and which type of nails you should use! |
| FEELING BLUE? Try Greens for Magazines! Your local Supermarket! Nothing cheers you up like a good magazine… unless it's JUNK FOOD! Or why not buy an MP3 PLAYER or a GAME CONSOLE? Chase those Blues away at GREENS Supermarket. |
| …What do you know about surviving in the Wilderness? If you can't make a snare you don't know TRAP! Hunt down a copy of TRAPPERS' LIFE and learn about wildlife! And how to kill it. Our classic BEAR TRAP schematic returns in this issue! |
| HUNTING GOODS! Food prices getting you down? Why not get a crossbow or compound bow and Hunt Your Own!? Our arrows and bolts are completely reusable, so why not hunt animals like Mother Nature intended? |
| This letter appears to have been lost before it could be delivered:
Dear Brother,
I hope you get this letter before it is too late. And I hope you understand I am sending this letter out of respect and love and, I'm not ashamed to admit it, fear. Fear for you and fear for myself. There is a reason why people are stocking up on guns and flour.
People are saying the rioters are merely insane, or under the influence of that new drug, or fever dream sleep walking. I don't know what's true and I don't care. They say almost the exact same thing about the eye-witnesses; maybe we're all fever dreaming now.
This isn't going to be delayed, let alone solved, by rifles or protein rations or whatever. The writing is on the wall. I'm not saying that my way is good or holy, and I love and respect you no matter what, but I hope and I pray that you'll join me.
There isn't much time to decide. Soon we might be the last folks on earth. You know where to go.
- Your Devoted Sister |
| …What do you know about surviving in the Wilderness? If you can't make a snare you don't know TRAP! Hunt down a copy of TRAPPERS' LIFE and learn about wildlife! And how to kill it. This week, a CROSSBOW TRAP! |
| BIRDHOUSE MONTHLY…. This month we look at some Dutch innovations in birdhouse design, and compare with the often confused Scandinavian Birdhouse design. Our article on sheet metal birdhouses will have you riveted! |
| CRAFTY CRAFTERS QUARTERLY: Macaroni isn't just for eating anymore! Learn how to make jewelry and art from it as well! We also discuss the correct way to use superglue without gluing your hands together! |
| THE RIPLEY-9k! Pilot your own cargo exoskeleton now! Our exoskeletons allow the power of a forklift guided by the strength of your own muscles. Carry heavy loads over rough terrain, even up stairs! |
| This is a poster advertising a brand of a hybrid gas-electric vehicle. It claims this hybrid car is the "best of both worlds" with the acceleration capabilities of a sport car and fuel consumption of a compact car. Something called the "Smart Controller®" is mentioned several times, which, if you are to believe the poster, is some kind of military technology adapted for civilian market, and it works like magic. At the bottom there is a slogan: "Enjoy your optimal ride with the Smart Engine Controller!" |
| This scrap of paper features a faded ad for Cascade Cola. "All the sweet you can stand. Don't just drink it; let it cascade into you." |
| This scrap of paper appears to be an advertisement for a music venue, dated a few days before the evacuation order. It's printed on bright neon green paper, with pictures of people dancing manically. It's main headliner features a famous local DJ. |
| JOIN THE CONCERNED CONSUMERS OF FOODPEOPLE! Join the fight to⋯
- Stop the neutralization of cultural icons.
- Endow Foodperson with vitals befitting heroics superb.
- Protect RU-238 and other FRUIT flavors from the threat of prohibition.
- Inspire future consumers of the superhero genre. |
| This promotional palm card is emblazoned "DigiMart has E-Ink" in a garish neon purple typeface. "E-Ink Tablets come packed with octo-core CPU, veripixel lenses camera, neoTouch screen, DRM locket, InnerVision ready near field, a free datavault storage plan, wi-fi, and more!" |
| This is an old coupon insert for Marigold Market:
- BOGO! Cascade Cola six-packs!
- ATOMIC POWER THIRST! Now with 20% more FRUIT RU-238!
- $2 MEAT! Aunt Janice's Pickled Meat now just $2.49!
- 75% OFF! DaiZoom bars by SoyPelusa. |
| Foodplace is advertising the "Big Deal™" on this flier. Plainly worded sentences on the distinct blue-and-magenta colored background try to convince the reader to buy their "Delicious Food™" in bulk to save money. There is a picture showing a sample order at the bottom. |
| This flier has been hastily photocopied on cheap cartridge paper. It appears to be advertising an event 7 days after the evacuation order was sent out. 'Great Antler Bar & Grill is closing down forever. Come and celebrate the memmeries. fFood will be free. come quick fresh and tender.' There are several grainy photos of an empty restaurant with the windows boarded up, rotting food haphazardly served on the tables at different stages of decomposition. The bottom of the flier is a blurry photo of a woman, her eyes bloodshot and mouth disturbingly wide. You can't quite determine whether she is laughing or crying. |
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