Automated Audio Transcript

Ok, ladies and gentlemen, this is DJ Dustbowl, you're tuned into Dark Days Radio, and if you're hearing this, then let's have an amen because it means we all made it out of the storm.

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That is, if the storm was a widespread thing and not just neatly centered atop my head.

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If that's the case and y'all didn't catch my broadcast, the bottom line's that reality was breaking, just like when this nonsense started.

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Now, I don't know if it'll happen again, but let's use today's survival tip slot to see what we can learn from it.

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Number one, folks, if reality's shitting the bed, don't try to fight anything that appears.

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If you're caught outside, my advice is to just run for cover, and you'd be best served by snuggling underground.

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Failing that, closing all the curtains and barricading the doors will work in a pinch.

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Most importantly, people, if you hear something outside, regardless of what it might be, stuff your ears and ignore it.

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You'll hear things that will make you want to open the front door.

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I heard… I opened up.

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You don't want to see what'll be waiting for you.